


i close my eyes to see

by pawn_vs_player



Series: it takes and it takes and it takes (aka: Adrian writes fic to cope with Infinity War) [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Omniscience, POV Minor Character, POV Outsider, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), SO, Stream of Consciousness, There's like. three sentences that are vaguely spoilery for the first ten minutes of infinity war, You've been warned, foresight, hard choices, old man contemplates life, old man is protective of young whippersnappers, old man makes hard decisions for the greater good, retrospection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 03:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14803518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pawn_vs_player/pseuds/pawn_vs_player
Summary: His eyes are not what they were when he was younger. The fall of Asgard had not helped. But though he cannot see through realms, he is not blind.He is an old man, and Loki has spoken at length of the titan bearing down on them. He knows what is coming, at the hands of Thanos or at the hands of fate.He knows better than to be afraid.(Heimdall, drifting through space in a ship crowded with refugees, waiting for the end to come.)





	i close my eyes to see

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Tribe Society's _Kings_.  
>  Day Two of Adrian's Exam Week Update Extravaganza!! It's another Marvel fic, though not quite IW. Hope y'all enjoy :)
> 
> ((no, i don't have an explanation for tagging everything with "old man". i just did it. deal with it.))

 

He is an old man. 

He does not look it, but then very few Asgardians ever truly showed signs of age. Only Odin, the Allfather, he who sacrificed an eye and pieces of his soul to Yggdrasil for knowledge, grew visibly older. The only mark Heimdall carries are the deepening lines on his face, as does - did - Lady Frigga, and the others whom he had known since his youth. 

There are very few of those left, now.

Brunnhilde is a welcome sight, even for how much she has changed. The lines on her face are white paint, but he can see her age as easily as he could see Odin's. She suffered terribly, he knows, even before she gets drunk enough to tell him.

(That is another change, the drinking. No Valkyrie partook in alcohol unless it was in celebration of victory. But Brunnhilde is alone now, and Heimdall supposes that she can do as she likes; there is no example for her to follow anymore.)

She tells him of the Grandmaster and his arena, of the great Hulk (the green-skinned man who sleeps in the back room with Asgardian children on his back) rising to Champion, of her role as scavenger and kidnapper. She tells him of Thor's capture and Loki's pretense. She tells him of watching her sisters die, and tells him of fearing the same fate for her newfound friends.

He tells her of Frigga's death, of Odin's sleep and his disappearance, of Hela and the murder of Asgard. (He doesn't tell her about what happened in Asgard since she left. She doesn't want to know.) 

They make a habit of it, meeting in the hissing, steaming engine rooms in the heart of the ship, sharing a bottle and letting out old ghosts. Sometimes they are joined; by Thor or Loki or one of the rescued gladiators or one of the Asgardian refugees. There is a mother who lost two children and keeps the third in her arms whenever she can. She does not drink with them, but she talks. There is a gladiator made of blue-gray rock, with an accent Heimdall has rarely heard and never in person, who talks about pamphlets entirely too much.

Thor speaks of his parents and of his brother, and of his lady Jane (his lady no longer, but Heimdall is not so rude as to mention such things), and of his Midgardian companions, and of the Warriors Three and Sif. (Sif has not been seen since before the fall of Asgard. Heimdall's eyes are not what they used to be, and the destruction of physical Asgard only worsened things.)

Loki speaks of his parents and of his brother, and of Midgard, and of Thanos and the Infinity Stones. Loki speaks of death, doom, and destruction.

These things are not new to Heimdall, but he is an old man. Loki and Thor are still so terribly young, and yet - 

And yet, Thor has been pushed into his father's shoes, one eye and an invisible crown and a people depending on him.

And yet, Loki has seen wonders and horrors unknown to most, and waits every day for the destroyer of worlds to return for him. 

Heimdall is an old man. He has survived wars, withstood Odin's anger, protected Asgard and its people, failed Asgard and its people, seen into every corner of every Realm, and fought for two kings. Now he waits on a rickety spaceship on-course for the youngest of the Nine Realms, with the last of the Valkyries and a stolen prince and the new King of Asgard and a green-skinned warrior a long ways from home and the last handful of Asgard's citizens. 

He is old. He has known for some time now that whatever comes next, whatever the next page in Asgard's history, he will not survive it. He is old, and he is weakening. His power is leaving him.

He believes Loki, as foolish as he may be. He believes that Thanos is coming. (He is not blind quite yet. He can see all those sparks of life going out.)

Heimdall is an old man, but he has his sword and his eyes, his allies and his friends. He knows the end is coming, but he has been awaiting it for so much longer than he will ever admit. (He is a warrior of Asgard; it is a feat, though perhaps not one to be proud of, to live to old age.) He will fight, and he will not win, but he will buy time. Thor must live. (Loki will break without his brother, but Thor - though Heimdall hates to think it - Thor will be driven by this last, greatest loss.) 

(He knows the end is coming, and not just for him.)

Heimdall is the guardian to the gates of Asgard. He serves his king, and he will do so to his last breath.

 

 

 

_(The ship cracks open with an almighty boom, the kind of sound he has heard only when Thor strikes the ground with his hammer, and he knows that it is time.)_

_(The end has come, at last.)_

_(He is not afraid.)_


End file.
